Sun Valley City Council Candidate’s Master Debate

Of the five contestants only three have high enough IQs to even be considered.  The first candidate, David Baravetto, a former architect ran on the platform of minimal expansion while making Sun Valley more accessible to tourists.  Milt Adams, sitting to the right of Baravetto, made the point that he himself was a “great analytical thinker but also was a creative thinker.”  The moderator, who wasn’t running, sat next to the loquaciously outspoken, unfortunately inarticulate Adams.  To the right of the moderator was Steven Poindexter.  As a worker of the graveyard shift for the Sun Valley Resort, he ran on the non-sensical platform that businesses in Sun Valley need to be open later, ‘at least until ten.’

  

It was uncertain if Poindexter chose his platform because he was fatigued with late night guests continually asking him what there is to do at night, or if there were other motives for his impractical platform.  If you have ever been to Sun Valley (distinctly separate from Ketchum, which is one mile down the road) what is most comical about his proposal is that besides Sun Valley Ski Resort, Sun Valley has very few businesses and it seems quite plausible for the company just to keep its own bars and restaurants open later without it becoming the main reason of someone’s candidacy.  The illogical part of his platform is that stores have cut back on their hours because there isn’t enough business; keeping stores open later would only add an unnecessary burden on the weight of their shoulders, plunging them to the basement through already rotting floorboards. 

  

The two most intelligent candidates congregated at the right.  Ironically, it would seem that the candidates were seated according to their political affiliation –just an astute observation on my part.  Baravetto seemed the most left, Milt couldn’t really articulate what exactly he was, and the Ribi/Youngman ticket both ran on platforms of economic growth.

  

The floor was opened to the audience after the reporters asked their questions.  When I was called on, I attempted to jumble three questions into one: concerning the environmental implications of building a new airport in Sun Valley, how one would deal with Sun Valley Ski Resort, the biggest provider of tourists and jobs but also its biggest provider in pollution and destruction: in a study conducted on seventy-seven western ski resorts by an environmental firm based out of Colorado, the company was shown to be among the worst ski resorts with respect to the environment.  The moderator realized my gasps for articulation and upon finishing my lengthy question she aided me in condensing and clarifying it and then asked me, ‘if that is what I meant?’  I told her ‘yes, but’ and then decided to tack on another question impugning the seeming implausibility of keeping businesses open later when they were already floundering to keep afloat.

  

The question was first tackled by Poindexter who remarked in exasperation, “Wow,” and then explained how Sun Valley needed an airport for access but as a front desk worker of the graveyard shift he sometimes had to ‘make decisions on the spot’ and that the “town of Sun Valley really needs to be considerate and consider the needs of its guests.”  Ribi pointed out, among other things that we need to think about the economy.  Bob Youngman uneventfully agreed with Ribi and said nothing more. Baravetto mentioned the reality of the environmental implications but ‘what we need to focus on now is accessibility’.

  

When the time came for Milt to respond he crossed his arms and said, “I’m going to pass on that question because it’s not understandable.”  If I was more witty I would’ve told Milt that if he couldn’t hold two co-existing thoughts in his head he shouldn’t be running for city council but instead I simplified the question by shortening it to the environmental implications of building an airport.  Still ruffled Milt reluctantly responded, “well when the time comes, I am a creative thinker but then I also can do analytical thinking and I will be able to deal effectively with the issue.  If it is an issue an all.”  That’s reassuring.

  

When the time came for candidates to pose questions to the others, Ribi asked the candidates to divulge their greatest strength and what would be their greatest challenge as a member of the City Coucil.  Baravetto wittily responded with, “weakness?”  People laughed and then he described how as an architect he learned to work well with others but sometimes he is too impulsive and doesn’t think through all of the options. 

  

Milt tried to follow Baravetto’s act by using his material -any comedian could tell you that this is a sure fire way to crash and burn.  Milt did not have such foresight.  Because of the lack of creativity, it seemingly questioned the first part of his answer when he spoke of his strengths as an analytical thinker and in creative thinking; the unoriginality combined with horrendous timing left the crowd quiet after Milt said weakness?  Silence ensued for at least five seconds and it made me wonder if Milt wasn’t joking at all but was serious.  But then he continued, “weaknesses, if I have any weakness, would probably be that” and then he did one of those things where he listed another strength as if it could be a weakness (i.e. I work too hard).  It was too bad that he chose this route because the translucency of at least two obvious weaknesses –humility and being stupid (it would seem that as creative and analytical are on opposite sides of the brain, you couldn’t be strongest in both –besides the fact that Ribi was looking for a strength not strengths) his unwillingness to admit these areas of improvement also left him with one more weakness: disillusionment.

  

Poindexter reiterated that as a worker of the graveyard shift he sometimes had to make quick decisions (I can only imagine what they would be –whether he should allocate an additional towel to a guest, what to do if there are people in the hot tub after eleven (although maybe he would extend this curfew as well), and what he could say to placate a rampant guest shaking an empting vending at 2 o’clock in the morning.

  

Pizza was provided.  You remember when you were young and your parents used to excitedly (and buffoonly) point out to you as you wearily staggered through the door from your job as a dishwasher that “now you know what you don’t want to be when you grow up!”  If I gained nothing else, with the exception of a few thousand more calories from the pizza heavily clad in cheese, I realized at least one person I didn’t want to be when I grow up.

  

Rock the Vote,

  

Jimmy